Monday, 11 February 2019

Make The First Move // Dating Chronicles

Sometimes the start of a new dating/relationship scenario can be awkward, confusing and nerve wracking when it's someone you have met organically and not through a dating app. Meeting people through dating apps and starting a dating relationship is super easy since it's probably the reason you both started talking in the first place. However, it can make you forget how to deal with fancying people in your real offline life and wanting to get closer to them in a romantic way. It can make you forget that sometimes you have to make the first move and tell someone how you feel face to face. That's always been tough, though. It can be super scary, but that's why i'm here to reassure you and to tell you to just go for it!

Have they indicated that they feel the same way?

Do they go out of their way to see you? Do your hangouts feel more like dates than just friendly meetups? Do you both act all awkward and blushy when you're together (awh)? Do you talk all day everyday, and occasionally in a flirty way? Then, my dude, they may just fancy you too! If you're both as awkward as each other then maybe you're both waiting for the other person to make the first move!

I'm not saying that these are all signs that the person you fancy likes you back, but they sure could be! There are also other signs but I don't have all the knowledge of these things for each of you. I am not an oracle, I just think I know enough to make this post. Acknowledging the signs and thinking over all the times you spend together may help you to build up some of the courage needed to make the first move.

Are you close friends or are you acquaintances? 

If you're close friends already, then you surely won't lose that friendship by telling them you like them in a romantic kinda way. They should respect your honesty and either let you down gently or tell you they've been feeling the same way. You are not going to lose them, I repeat, you are not going to lose them. If it feels awkward for a little while, it will definitely pass and you will get back to the way you are in no time. If, however, they actually tell you that they like you back, you are dating your close friend who you already know you get along with and trust!

If they're an acquaintance, how much have you got to lose if they say no? It will hurt for a little while but that will pass and they will remain an acquaintance. A truly mature grown up person will be flattered by your affections, whether returned or not, and will not run into the distance screaming.

How long have you been crushing?

If it's been a long time and you haven't brought it up with your crush, it will feel good just to say it and get it off your chest. Even if they don't return your feelings, at least you know now. Otherwise you will never know if they feel the same way as you! I went to college with somebody for two years and I had a crush on them the entire time but I was scared to say anything because I thought they didn't return the feelings. We then went our separate ways for university and I didn't see them for nearly two years. When they came to visit me in Manchester, I told them that I had feelings for them for the whole of college and they said that they had felt the same way but were also scared to say anything. It took literal years to tell them I had a crush, by which time we were in completely different places (geographically and mentally) and nothing could come from those feelings. Say something or you may regret keeping your feelings to yourself in the future!

What have you got to lose?

As I have already said, if the person you have feelings for is already a friend, they will not abandon you if you express your feelings to them. It may feel awkward in the short term but at least these things pass. If they do have those feelings for you, you have so much to possibly gain in the future with them! It's the same with someone you know less well. It may feel awkward in the short-term if they reject your advances, but you have so much to gain in the long-term if they return them!

To conclude this ramble...

Go for it!
What have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?
If you still don't feel inspired to ask your crush out, just share this where they may see it, read it, and make the first move instead!

Good luck angels!x

Photo by Ioana Cristiana on Unsplash

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