Tuesday, 27 March 2018

In My Childhood Room

I'm at my family home for four days at the moment and that means staying in the room I lived in from the age of about eight or nine up until I moved out for university over a year and a half ago. I get a lot of emotions when I stay in this room. It makes me feel incredibly reflective and strange to stay here and I wanted to write some of these feelings and some of my thoughts down.

The Thoughts and Reflections

This is the room in which I did almost everything for a decade in. I studied, slept, ate, exercised, read, wrote and lived in this room. It holds so many memories. An overwhelming amount!

In this room, I studied tirelessly to pass my GCSEs, then my A Levels which got me into university and gave me passage to leave my small town. I can't fathom the number of hours of study that this took, all I know is that it almost all happened in this room. There are still textbooks dotted about the room and notes in folders on my desk. I worked hard in this room. I even ran my first blog from here when I was in high school. It was a beauty blog and I loved it! I only deleted it because I was so afraid that the kids in school would find it and use it against me. I was a paranoid kid.

I discovered so much music in this room. My CD collection is massive and I used to spend hours reading Kerrang Magazine and looking up all of the bands mentioned to see if I could find a new fave. I started to teach myself guitar in this room and used to practise for all my flute and singing lessons in here, much to the dismay of my parents. I would make such a racket!

My room has changed a lot over time. Its walls started out lilac and yellow when I moved here, with textured wallpaper and gingham curtains. Before it was my room, it belonged to two very young twin girls and it was decorated accordingly. We then painted it all lilac, my favourite colour at the time. I matched the walls with a lilac bedspread with a dog on it and it was the softest bedspread ever. The room then became duck egg blue and cream, colours I had chosen because of my nan's fondness of the colour scheme and my total belief that my nan is the most stylish and room decor savvy woman on this earth. These walls ended up covered in band posters when I entered my emo phase and stayed this way up until I got bored and painted the walls white, which they still are to this day.

The Feelings

Sometimes I really long to be back home and back to my teenage years, but being in this room reminds me of how far I have come and how happy I would have been back then if I knew what was to come. I got into my first choice university, found a career path that I really want to follow and made it out of my town! I didn't have the faith in myself to think that this was all possible so I guess I am feeling a renewed sense of pride and happiness with where I have worked to get to in life. I worked super hard to get to university and to take the opportunities which I have taken and being here really puts it into perspective.

I feel very relaxed here. I have taken a step away from the current daily hustle and bustle of my life and I am back in Wales. I live near the woods and I love being out here and getting to walk around the routes I used to take every day. I used to take living in the countryside for granted, thinking it was the most boring place on earth, but I love how calm it makes me feel now.

The Items

My CD collection and a hand-me-down stereo that grandad didn't have room for when he moved into his bungalow.

So many books!

A pink PlayStation 2 and a small selection of games to go with it.

All of the receipts I hoarded in my teenage years, along with bus and train tickets.

An Edgar Allan Poe canvas and a print of Van Gogh's Sunflowers.

My memory box which is full of birthday cards, concert tickets, certificates, trinkets and my high school leaver's book.

Letters and drawings which are taped up onto my wall above my desk. They bring back so many memories and I love to re-read the letters from friends.

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